Seth Putnam: Defender of the Hate

Anal Cunt (from The Grimoire of Exalted Deeds Issue #10)

This is the legendary interview from Issue #10 when Bill Zebub actually managed to anger Seth Putnam


(During the preliminary conversation, Seth seemed to be bored).What’s the matter? You don’t sound happy to talk to me.
I’m just totally drunk. Did you get the new album?

Yeah, I was mad that there was no song about the Grimoire in here.
I only write negative stuff, and the Grimoire is one of the few magazines that I like.

On stage, didst thou ever have the crowd perform a group Zieg Heil to thee?
Many times.

Wert thou in an SS uniform?
I wish I was.

So how did that go over?
We’ve done songs by racist bands live a million times and it has always been well received by the crowd. Are you familiar with the band Vaginal Jesus?

Ain’t never.
I’ll send you a copy. Actually they’ve been around since like 1988. They make Screwdriver sound like the most unracist band ever. We do Vaginal Jesus covers a lot. You know how oi bands are racist bands... sort of like cover up things... Vaginal Jesus is completely blatant like , I hate niggers, or I hate jews. So we do those covers a lot. People know that we’re friends with Vaginal Jesus, and when we do those songs everyone is totally psyched.

While thou art trying to make people Zieg Heil...
Can you talk in normal English? Can you talk in American? You can write it later in like gay pompous English.

No, I’ll do you a favor since I do it to Swedish assholes because they can’t understand me either. While you’re making people Zieg heil you...
We don’t make them do it. They just do it by themselves.



Are you sure?
Yeah. I don’t force anyone to do it. But when people do it I’m psyched. I don’t stop them from doing it. I’ll do it as an example and people will keep doing it, but I’m not against other people doing it and I’ve never frowned on other people doing it. Actually I encourage it and try to get them to do it some more.

There’s a cute cartoon of Hitler with a punk near him with a thumbs up, showing that he’s cool, and Hitler looks really proud that a young punk enjoys him.
On our new cd?

Yeah. People don’t understand this because they say to me, “Why does Seth make fun of jews when he is one himself?”
I’m not a jew. I’m half English and half Irish.

But they say that Putnam is highly jewish.
Actually Seth is kind of a jewish name. Putnam is kind of an old English name.

Funny you have an old English name but you can’t understand Olde English.
Because why would I care about that when it has nothing to do with that anymore?

Are you positive you’re not just trying to hide your jewish identity?
No! I’m not a fuckin’ jew!

Because that’s what jews do, you know.
No. I’m not a fuckin’ jew pretending that I’m Italian or something like that. I look like an Irish person.

Well you drink like an Irish person. You’re fulfilling that stereotype.
Basically I’m... if you really want to know my ethnic background... I’m a quarter Irish and a Quarter English. My father’s side of the Family was English and they came here in 1630. And my mother’s side of the family... there was a potato famine.

Are they Irish jews?
No. We all hate jews. My mother hates jews. My father hates jews. Well actually my father’s job is deporting people actually. I’m not even trying to be funny.

Do people cry when he tells them “Get out”?
He tells me all these hilarious stories like people pretending they can’t speak English. I think that it’s totally cool that he deports people and he volunteered to be in Vietnam and everyone was avoiding the draft. He re-enlisted like three times because he’s all into killing people.

I’m glad that I’m interviewing you because , out of all the bands I’ve interviewed, no one has ever produced as much mail as an Anal Cunt interview.
You promised me you’d send me magazines and you haven’t, you fuckin’ jew. What does it cost? Like fifty cents? You kike! I haven’t gotten a new Grimoire in a while, you raging jew! When people ask me how much racist I am I’m not gonna back down.

I enjoy the fact that you magically seem to find the worst thing to say.
I don’t know if I told you in person, but I think Grimoire is the only magazine worth reading since Kick Ass in the early ‘80’s. Every other fanzine is gay. Everyone cares about things. Anyone who cares about anything is fucking gay faggot. You know I’m married now?

You’re married?
I’ve been married for almost a year.

Do you treat her like shit?
She thinks about 99.9% about the same way that I do.

Really? So she believes that she should pay your way?
She’s a total fuckin’ cunt. She like hates everyone.

Do you use her credit card to finance your tours?
No because she doesn’t have one.

Is she as fat as you are?
She is basically a female version of me. Actually she’s not fat. This is a nonfat female version of me.

There was a guy in a wheelchair who came up to one of your shows, and his history is, he had leukemia...
(Seth starts laughing)

He beat it... but when he has a spinal tap it paralyzed him.
That’s funny.

He knows everything there is to know about Anal Cunt. I actually wanted him to do this interview, but I didn’t think it would have the same shock value.
You’re asking really boring questions, by the way. Especially with the new subject matter I expected... one thing I wanted to credit you on was the best interview you ever did was that Italian black metal band and asked what the difference is between a jewish nose and an Italian nose. I was showing my wife this and like, this is the only good magazine. She thought it was the funniest thing ever because we hate jews. You can print that.

Well anyway, this guy in a wheelchair was talking to you. You were cool with him, he was cool with you. Then you got up on stage and made fun of him for being a cripple. You actually pointed him out and everything.
He’s a cripple. What am I gonna say? Oh, it’s really cool the way your pants fit. What else am I gonna say about him? Like, it’s great the way you can talk? You know? He’s a fuckin’ crip. You know that cover that we do of Elton John? I’m Still Standing? It’s goin’ out to that kid in the wheelchair. We’ve done that a million times for people who are crippled.

I remember we were at a bar. We arm wrestled. I beat you.
I couldn’t even speak. I was so fuckin’ out of it.

But the thing is, I beat you and then you punched me in the stomach.
Dude, if I wasn’t like totally drunk I’d beat you.

Have you ever thought about going to therapy for your alcohol problem?
Why? Like, there’s no reason. I have a whole life of boredom. I’d rather have a whole life of being a fuck up than like going to AA meetings 7 days a week. Why bother? It’s gay. I’d rather like be arrested every day and be an asshole. I can take care of myself.

You left a path of destruction. One of the guys from Grief is toothless because of you.
That was funny. Actually the funny thing is, before that happened I was very good friends with him. His teeth were all fucked up and he was like, “I can’t even eat corn on the cobb. My teeth are all fucked up. I wish that I got fake teeth.” And then when I knocked out his teeth he started crying about it. What the fuck? What a pussy. He had the worst teeth. A guy from England couldn’t have had worst teeth than that guy.

Speaking of which, I think Lee Barret sold his record label because of his alcohol problem.
Who’s that?

The guy from Extreme Noise Terror who was on tour with you.
That guy is gay, man.

Is he highly gay or just a little bit gay?
He’s a run of the mill gay. How can anyone have an alcohol problem? Dude, I’ve been like a completely savage alcoholic for like ten thousand years and it doesn’t mean anything. It’s... like I’ve done every drug on the planet for months at a time.

You’re a garbage pail.
What’s that mean?

You do every drug there is.
Obviously. Do you have any? Do you know where I can get some coke right now?

No, but I know where you can get some insulin, though.
Man shut up.

Ever do that?
No.

Everyone kind of hates you. But then there are people who really hate you. I want to know about those people.
Tell me who really hates me.

I want you to tell me.
Tell me.

Guess.
Stop being gay. Tell me who really hates me.

No.
Alright. Tell me who hates me. Stop being a jewish gay.

You know what I think would be great? If you me and some other assholes did a new fanzine.
Why don’t we do it then? I used to write for fanzines in the early ‘80’s. Why don’t wee start our own fanzine then?

I was at a horror convention and King Fowley was there. First he made fun of me and wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise, telling me how much my mag sucks and I’m a sellout and stuff like that and he was threatening to kick my ass and blah blah blah. But then he said that he should write for me because the people who write for me are lame. To prove it he started yelling in the hotel lobby, “I’m a nigger killer. I kill niggers!”
No he didn’t. He’s just a poser.

He did it.
No, he wouldn’t do that.

He did. I was there. Then I left to get him a Grimoire t-shirt because he’s cool.
How come I don’t have one?

What’s your size? XXXXL?
Is it black or white?

Black.
Ok... XL. Yeah right. You’re all blah blah blah. You never send me anything you fucking jew.

He’s a jew?
No... you.

Me?
Bagel Bub. Bagel Giant.

Well anyway, I went out, and when I came back police led him away. I was just wondering what you thought of that.
About what?

About King Fowley being led away for threatening all the lives of black people in the hotel.
I wish he’d killed the black people.

What do you think of him on an asshole appreciation level?
All my encounters with King Fowley... he’s been really cool. I have nothing bad to say about him. I think his band sucks. But every time I’ve met him he’s been really cool.

Do you think that if we did a fanzine he’d be our equivalent in asshole level?
I don’t know. I meet him like once every six years. I think if me and you do a fuckin’ fanzine it would be, like, the worst! It would be beyond awful.

I wanted to do one a while ago with all the assholes I knew.
I hope I was involved in the assholes being picked for the project.



I don’t think I knew you back then. I knew of you. There was this guy Mike Campbell from Sepulchral Voice. He had a cartoon of Bobo the fag-bashing clown. Well, the asshole idea was for us all to be anonymous because we are pretty ballsy normally. Just imagine what we would be like if we didn’t have to face people.
No. If I call someone a nigger or a jew or a faggot I want to have my name behind it.

Can you name any popular dude who has a really big problem with you?
Not that I know of. But I hope Chris Barnes does, and then I want to fight him immediately. It’s an open invitation. Actually, that song “Chris Barnes is a Pussy” on the record is an open invitation for him to fight me any time he wants to.

The funny thing is, Metal Blade... a supergay publicist called me to interview Six Feet Under because they paid to run an ad. Then I got a call on the day of the interview and the homo said that Chris Barnes refused to do the interview.
He’s a fuckin’ gay fag. That’s why.

Is it because he has dreadlocks?
It’s because he’s a gay homosexual faggot, and he’s also gay.

Is there any truth to the rumor that Eric Clapton is suing you?
We wrote a song originally called... what the fuck was it called. (Very long pause in which Seth kept screaming “fuck”) Basically it was about Eric Clapton’s kid committing suicide because he sucks. It’s something about that. It’s about his kid committing suicide because Eric Clapton is the worst song writer on the planet. I can’t remember the actual song title because I’m really drunk. Shit! What the fuck was it called? Eric Clapton... blah blah blah.

I was wondering if Eric Clapton actually threatened the label or is Dig a pussy?
It’s just the label worried that they would get sued. If he found out, Eric Clapton’s lawyers would cripple Earache so bad.

Like that guy who was at your show?
See, with “Easy E Got AIDS From Freddy Mercury” they’re worried about whoever owns the rights to them.

I don’t even know what that is. Easy E... is that a workout machine?
It’s some nigger from NWA. All the songs they thought they’d get in trouble for... they shortened the names.

Have you ever wondered how far the mercury rises in Freddy Mercury’s thermometer?
(Sarcastically) That’s funny.

Eric Clapton couldn’t possibly find out. What do you usually sell? Like 6,000 copies? Or is it more because it’s mandatory for every jew to have a copy?
I think the name of the song is “Eric Clapton’s Kid Committed Suicide Because His Father Sucks.” What was the question?

Getting back to you hiding your jewish identity...
I’m not a fuckin’ jew. I hate jews, and you can quote that.

Don’t jews try to mongrelize everybody. Aren’t you trying to mongrelize with the other fat dirtbags in death metal?
I’m not gonna deny being a fat slob. But I hate jews, and I have nothing to do with being jewish?

Isn’t that what jews said when German soldiers went into their houses and asked, “Are you a jew?”
That’s hilarious. I’m glad that happened. Did you hear the stories about me stealing stuff from concentration camps? I was at two concentration camps and I stole...

Were you trying to save a little bit of your ancestors?
Shut up you fuckin’ faggot! I stole some ash from the oven.

Was it your uncle’s ashes?
No! I’m not a fuckin’ hebe!

Are you sure?
No! You can quote me. I’m not a fuckin’ jew!

Do you have the hebe jebees?
Why do you think I’m a fuckin’ jew?

Everyone’s telling me that you are. I’m just trying to be nice.
Whoever says that I want to fight them.

It was that cripple. His name is Rob. He’s going to review your album.
I’m going to step on his face.

What is your most jewish feature, if you were a jew, though? Like, physically?
I don’t think I have one.

Isn’t there a manual on how to discover jews?
How about this... don’t you think that Mortiis looks like a jewish Vulcan?



Well, Mr. Spock... that actor.. what was his name?
Donald Trump or some... ah... Leonard Lemoy.

Yeah... he’s jewish. As a matter of fact that live long and prosper thing is a jewish thing... that’s a jewish hand sign.
So are you a fuckin’ jew?

Me? Why? Did you hear that I was?
Yeah.

No.
I’m not a fuckin’ jew either so shut the fuck up.

Unless someone forced a conversion on me. Hey, did you know that there’s a nigger Vulcan now?
I thought that Star Trek is so gay that I never really watch it. I think my wife’s friend’s father was outside my house and saying, “Voyager? What the fuck is this? There’s a fuckin’ nigger and a woman.. I’m getting tired of this! It’s so unrealistic!”

They’re trying to show that in this century niggers are not equal in intelligence to mankind, but like in the 25th century or wherever Star Trek is in gayland...
They’ll be all smart by then.

Yeah, they’re like Vulcans... you know... like superior.
Who cares?

Is there ever going to be a song called “Being Jewish is Gay”? Or would that offend your family?
Have you read the lyrics to “Being Ignorant is Awesome?”

No.
Why don’t you read them? Do you have them?

Alright. Track 33. Let’s see what they have to say... “I like to laugh at retards. I like to laugh at cripples. I like to make fun of gays. I like to beat women. I like assuming black people stole something. I like assuming jews jerk off to photos of banks. I like assuming Chinese people can’t drive.” Wow! That’s pretty good!
It’s pretty obvious you didn’t brush up.

Yeah. I try not to know anything about the new album when I interview somebody.
Yeah, I was really hoping for all these curtive comments about racism. I was ready to back up my racism.

Isn’t there a song about Dig that Earache totally censored the lyrics of?
Body By Auswitz? It’s basically about a fat guy who can’t lose weight so he goes to a concentration camp. It looked like Dig.. a big fat balding fat fucking pig. You hoard calories like Dig hoardes cash. He can’t have something so brutally honest about him on his own album. That’s the only gay thing he’s... I say stuff in some other song... like some woman-beating lyrics, and they were censored.

Isn’t it true that the only reason Anal Cunt is on Earache because jews stick together, and Dig, the grandfather jew, wanted you to have some sort of foot hold on music to mongrelize?
It has nothing to do with kikes.

No?
Not that I know of. Dig is a raging jew. I don’t know. It has nothing to do with that.

Did you ever pinch a girl’s ass?
Dude, why don’t you ask me like another boring question?

I was just wondering if you ever pinched a girl’s ass.
Probably. Yeah.

Did you think it was a penny?
You’re like totally boring. Your fanzine is going way down the hill, I expected way better questions than this.

Dude, you are asking me the most boring questions! You ask the most PC-ish questions, like “what if a guy maybe bought a bagel once with three mazza balls in his hands?” Dude, I’m like totally willing to be extremely racist and answer every question. I was like totally psyched for this interview until fuckin you’re acting like everyone else. I was totally ready to do a good interview and now you’re a totally faggot gay. You’re not interviewing some fuckin’ gay. You’re interviewing the worst person possible who’ll agree with anything you can think of. (pause) Do you have any drugs, by the way?

Me?
Yeah. Like, do you know how to get any?

Well you’re in the drug capital right now.
Do you know a place to get any, like right now?

Ask John Paris.
No, they don’t know anything.

Oh no, that’s sex change drugs. I’m sorry. How about Jorge?
No. Maybe ask Tom Pasquale.

Yeah. He’s a garbage pail too.
You don’t know a place to get any, do you?

Other than Pasquale? No. He’s like a dealer.
Alright. Let’s get this interview over. Stop asking gay questions. I’m still pissed, dude. I expected finally a good interview and you’re acting like fuckin’ a...

We’re getting there. I’m just feeling you out.
You’re asking questions for like a first grade magazine. I’m pissed.

I like when you have that gay voice. And I like when you do the falsetto thing, like in Gloves of Metal. Are you going to do more of that? I’m totally pretending that you’re actually an artist. Are you going to more of that?
It depends on how the songs go and if I think they need to have them in them. It depends what songs.

What do you think of bi-racial relationships?
Which ones?

I’m sorry. You had one with Kim Goss. How about with the dark folk.
I never had one of those.

Why not?
I hate niggers.

To the point where you won’t even smell one?
No. You can print that.

Yeah?
When’s the last time you talked to Kim Goss anyway?

I never talked to her.
Alright. Where did you hear that from?

I can’t reveal the dirt hounds.
Shut up you fag! i told you I hate niggers and let you print that in your magazine. That is like the most incriminating thing you’ve ever had in your magazine and you won’t give me an answer?

You’re the star. I’m just the interviewer.
Oh shut up you fag.

I don’t mean anything to the world.
Yes you do. Everyone’s waiting for you to fuckin’ get the worst out of everyone. Finally, I gave you a quote that no one’s ever given you. You can at least tell me who told you who that gook cunt...

No! If I reveal the dirt hounds then they’ll stop barking!
Ok. I won’t give you any more answers then. This is a fuckin’ gay interview.

Do you know who Reverend Al Sharpton is?
Yeah, some big fat nigger.

Doesn’t he look like Oprah?
I’m already familiar with what he looks like.

Let’s talk about some of your song titles because they in themselves are incredible... much more incredible than any question I can think of. Tell me what was going on when you wrote “I Became a Counselor So That I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It”.
Because women are stupid cunts and I hate them and we thought it would be funny. We just played a show in like Syracuse and we did “Women: Nature’s Punching Bag” and they got all upset. So we wanted to do a song that was worse than that. We wrote that on the way home.

How about “I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To America’s Funniest Home Videos”?
We thought that was funny. I wish I did.

“Hitler Was A Sensitive Man”.
It’s a true story. Read the lyrics.

You’ve compelled me to read the lyrics. “He went to art school when he was younger.”
True.

“He wanted to be a painter. Hitler was a vegetarian. He was also a non smoker.” So what are you trying to say here about politically correct people?
I wrote a song about Hitler that’s all true so they can’t get mad at us. I wrote a song to piss everyone off, and they can’t get pissed off because everything wee wrote about is all true.

“He hired gay and handicapped officers. He was concerned about overpopulation. If Hitler were alive today he’d listen to The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode.” Dude, that is brilliant. You ever think about doing stand up comedy?
Yes. I thought about it for like 20 years.

You have to do it.
Read the lyrics. That’s my stand up comedy.

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Dude, you have to do Anal Cunt Unplugged on MTV.
Those lyrics are basically stand up comedy.

“You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You’re a Cum-Guzzling Fag”. Do you think that a fag could tell the difference between normal sperm and retard sperm?
They’re gay. They don’t know.

“I Made Your Kid Get AIDS SO You Could Watch It Die”. The lyrics have to be read. “A few years ago I snuck Freddy Mercury into your room. I gave him anesthesia so he wouldn’t remember getting raped. You spent your life savings putting your kid through college. Then he died of AIDS so you wasted your money for nothing. You thought your son was on a diet so you didn’t worry much. At the funeral I told you what happened and I laughed at you. I didn’t think you suffered enough so I shot your wife in front of you.” This is the issue that will end the Grimoire.
You sound like really held back. You’re not your usual self.

“I Gave MAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid”. “The Only Reason Why Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid You Stupid Fuckin’ Cunts”. “I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died.” “Domestic Violence Is Really Really Really Funny”. “Dictators Are Cool”. Who’s David Buskin?
That’s a really popular songwriter.What time is it anyway?

Like 5:38.
Oh fuck! I’m going to miss the bus!

What kind of music do you listen to?
The only thing I really like is like pre ‘84-’85 hardcore and death metal, and pop music. bands like Hellhammer, Bathory, Sodom, Venom, and Village People, Culture Club and shit like that.

How long are you staying in New York?
Like an hour or two.

Wow. That’s so cute.
Aw. You wanna hang out for an hour or something? Do you have any drugs?

You want me to give you Tom Pasquale’s phone number?
I already have it. He hasn’t called me back.

That’s unusual. He’s usually calling everybody like 50 times in a minute. It’s like he has the Harassment Speed Dial.
Everyone hates him. No one wants to deal with him. This is the one time I actually tried to call him.

When He calls you and babbles for an hour...
(Imitating tom) “So anyway I was breathing oxygen today....”

How do you control the phone call with him?
I’ve avoided talking to him for like 2-3 years. He used to be really bad... (Imitating him again) “So I was putting really nice pants on today.... blah blah blah.”

Did you and tom ever share a hotel room?
No. He stayed at my house before.

He stayed at your house? Did he talk to your parents?
No. I don’t live with my parents.

Why not?
Because I’m not, like, ten.

You’re breaking the stereotype of a person of your particular personality. Everyone thought you lived at home.
I lived on my own for ten years.

Why? Did you call your mother a whore or something and she threw you out?
No. Because I have a job.

If you were a jew, would you reveal it?
Yeah. I’m not a fuckin’ jew. (Seth became enraged and humg up the phone)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hZXxrzsQOA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLDat80D6n8